D R E A M S .   .   .

Cherish your visions and your dreams 
as they are the children of your soul; 
the blue prints of your ultimate achievements.  
-- Napoleon Hill

Pacific Beach, 1970

At the age of 13 I started surfing. To this day I have never been in a closer relationship with nature. Paddling out through rolling swells in the early morning, the sun peaking up over the horizon, a warm wind kissing the tops of waves as they peel towards the shore -- these are memories that I will always remember. Nothing in my life can ever compare to the feeling of paddling into a breaking wave, feeling the power of the ocean picking you up and pushing you down the wave's face; the feel of being encased inside the wave as it breaks around you. It's an incredible raw and pure connection, one that invades your soul.  I did it every day. Three years later I moved to the San Francisco Bay area. Although I still went surfing once a month my heart ached for that feeling, that relationship with the sea. Perhaps this is what propelled me into my career in marine biology, to recapture that feeling. But alas, it has never been the same, there is too much between us.

We are creatures of nature, organism like all others with strong ties to the world. Through our evolving culture we are losing this bond and forget that the life of the land is our lifeblood.

Bali, 1978

...I was walking back to my cottage late at night down a narrow trail through the jungle. I saw a narrow gap off the path that I mistook for a shortcut. I stepped off the path into the darkness and was immediately lost. It was pitch dark and no lights could be seen. I heard monkeys trashing through the trees far above my head. Birds were squawking wildly and I heard sounds of animals moving through the brush all around me with crystal clarity. I had absolutely no sense of direction. I tripped and fell onto the jungle floor. The sky flashed with lightening and it began to rain. Afraid of the animals around me I began to crawl through the brush. I was soaked with rain and perspiration and mosquitoes were attacking my body.  A helpless but strangely familar feeling washed over me...

Upon much reflection the message I was getting here was this: this is the true place of man in nature. We fear the storms, the predators, the night. We are just part of the community and thus both predator and prey. Ruler of neither the sky nor  living things. The feeling is terrifying. I believe this is why we cling to our technology: it has freed us from this reality, allowed us to take command of the planet, or  so we believe. This is why we conquer nature; to rise above being part of the food chain. But this is also where we have failed.

Shell Beach, 1981

A dream: I am standing on a rocky jetty staring out at the ocean as the sun starts to slide below the water. A large storm is approaching but it is warm and a gentle breeze caresses my body. The waves are huge and rolling in with tremendous power between the two breakwaters jutting out into the sea. The waves are gray and ominous and I feel a sense of dread sweeping over me as I realize that I must swim out to sea. For some reason I must get through these waves. My friends are standing around me, wordless but supportive. I dive in and begin swimming through the strong surge. As the first wave approaches I easily dive down below it and surface on the other side. Swimming stronger I approach the next wave. This one is bigger and again I dive below. After several more waves I see a huge one building on the horizon. I swim quickly towards it, take a deep breath, and dive as deep as I can to get below the wave's massive power. Under it, in the twilight gray sea, I see dark powerful foam surging down towards me...

The meaning of all of this is still unclear to me. On one part I'm certain: there is great change coming that will be difficult but I must face it.

Santa Cruz Island, 1991

Watching the waves roll up the cobblestone beach. As a wave comes in it pushes the cobbles up the beach; as it receded they roll down the beach, making a gentle rolling sound. Back and forth, for eternity.

After several hours of watching this, of just breathing it in and letting it rise over me, I realized that most people were like the boulders.   Life is the wave and they just go with the flow.  Day in, day out, caught up in the surging momentum of humanity. But some people, and I resolved to be one of those, break out of this mold and create their own flow, their own destiny. There are things that need to be done outside of our current path. But we must Act! to do  this.